S.A.S.A.V.

Hello, all. I know that I already posted today, but something has come to my attention that requires yours as well.

I was looking through my dalies folder and came across today’s Complex Actions. This is a gaming comic, etc. etc. etc. I’ll do a review on Monday since I already did one today and a guest writer will be doing friday’s.

Anyways, the horror.

Twilight, the bane of any horror fan’s existence. Somehow that whore Meyers managed to turn the clever and brutal vampire of old into a whiny little emo pedophilic creepy brat who I suspect sits in his room masturbating to himself in the mirror while cutting himself “just to feel pain”. Fucking hell. When did they become pussies? I want my Dracula and Underworld and Hellsing vampires back, for fuck’s sake.

It wouldn’t be so bad, however, if the fanbase wasn’t so rabid. Whether it’s the little tween shits who gobble them up in their insane little minds or the “Twi-moms”, as I’ve heard them called, who… well, they just creep me out. /shiver.

The latter is the problem in this situation, because they have the ability to breed, which is a real problem. When you name your spawn after some prick in a book like Twilight, it has become more than annoying.

So let me put the record straight. Tweens: I don’t really care what you do, after all you’ve been screaming after Justin Beiber or whatever his name is and I’ve managed to drown that out. But you middle-aged women who are lusting after a person who is physically underage, you have a serious problem. Get help.

I do love the double standard, though. Is this okay with everyone? Because I know that if you named your kid after anyone in a video game, then Child Services would probably take you to court.

So yeah, fuck Twilight, fuck “Twi-moms”, and fuck mass media. Stephenie Meyer, die in a fire.

Right, Complex Actions. I urge (which means “command”, on the by) you to take up the cause of the S.A.S.A.V. organization, created by Actions. If you are not good at guessing letters, that stands for Society Against Sparkly-Assed Vampires. Do not take this lying down.

Row row, fight tha powa. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go put rags into bottles of booze, and perhaps try to come to terms with my abuse of italics and commas.  -Cat

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