Girly

Ah, fuck, why not?

Girly

Josh Lesnick

756 pages

Relatively quick updates

Romantic comedy. If you are a regular reader, then you know how I feel about it. If not, then you don’t understand the venom that was in that phrase. But I’ve covered that before, so moving on.

My opinion on Girly is, in a word, schizophrenic. On one hand you have a brilliantly written, cynical, funny story involving various social commentaries. Interesting characters mingle together with great scenarios to make scenes that are absolutely hilarious. From the wacky antics of the psuedo-superheroines to that poor bastard the policeman, the stories appeal to both my humor and my cynical side.

And yet, there’s the romance. Every once and a while you’ll get a romantic scene. Yes, they’re usually passing quickly, but…

As much as I hate romantic comedy, I do understand that it sometimes is proper. After all, some people like that crap. However, the writing is not done well. The best descriptor that I can come up with for Girly‘s romance is “shoehorned”. It really is a cop-out for developing characters with real motivations to stay together. Apparently if you take a misanthrope and a nut then you get wuvy-duby gooshy-wooshy love. There’s something of a disconnect in their motivations, in the sense that they really don’t exist, not in a persuasive way at least. This is not good story-telling. Also lots of lesbian sex for no clear reasons other than because apparently he thinks that lesbians just fuck all day long.

In short, Girly is a well-written, clever comic that has an unfortunate amount of lame romance. Luckily you can pretty much tell when the bad sap is starting and stopping, so feel free to skip past that and read only the good material.

No Pink Ponies

In other news: WoW mobile armory’s getting released soon, but you have to pay an additional monthly subscription for it. They want you to play their game more, but by god they’re going to make you pay for it.

I’d like to say that this has made me lose faith in WoW fanatics, but that goal was already accomplished by seeing the popularity of the incredibly expensive WoW steins. /sigh.

No Pink Ponies

Saiful Remy Mokhtar

08-10 (Don’t believe the archive dates, they are bugged)

Updates Tues/Thurs/Sat/Sun (with a large break in the archive)

What if you made a comic about comics? Wouldn’t that just be crazy?!

No Pink Ponies revolves around the main character, Jess, as she attempts to run a comic book shop and chase after the man of her dreams, who also runs a comic book shop. She’s smart, funny, and just wants to make a woman’s place in a man’s world of comics! With her required herd of boys following her everywhere, it’s just one funny slip up after another in the crazy shop!

If you haven’t picked up on it yet, the text that I just penned was dripping with sarcasm. What is it about comics with girl gamers/nerds/overall geeks that forces them to make it all about men vs. ladies? Haven’t we evolved to the point where this is no longer an issue? Studies vary to the exact percentage, but they all agree that at least 40% of gamers are girls, and I bet a much higher percentage are geeks in general. So why must we drag out the same old plot of “Carving out a niche for the ladies out there, you precious few”?

Don’t get me wrong, any comic will do this joke at one time or another. It’s almost as inevitable as the tides. But here’s the thing: the entire plot revolves around men chasing after Jess who is chasing after a man. For those of you paying attention, this is also known as romantic comedy. Fffffffffffffff- why do they do this to me?

“Oh, look,” I thought, climbing off of my throne of women and money. “A comic about a comic book shop. This could be fun!”

I’m going to spoil the beginning for you, since this plot point passes particularly presently.

<SPOILERS>

Jess starts off by checking out a comic book store, and all the boys stare at her. She instantly falls in love with the guy who own the shop due to him being “teh hotness” and decides to open her own comic book shop across the street in order to have a reason to talk to him. She then spends the rest of the story chasing Mr. Pretty Pants. He eventually starts working for her after she breaks her leg (despite the fact that he had his own store to run, a point that kind of just *disappears*) and etc. happens. You should be able to fill in the blanks by now.

</SPOILERS>

This is not a great story. This does not have the making of a great story. This is drivel.

I did enjoy No Pink Ponies, but it was more for the drawing and the occasional comic/game joke than the overreaching plot. The characters are well-done and expressive, actually conveying emotion and unique expressions. </artsnobbery>

Don’t get me wrong, NPP can have its moments. It can be funny, clever, creative, (add adjective here), but I feel hesitant to recommend it due to its plot. If it were presented in a series of sovereign dailies instead of a story, I might be more receptive. But I just can’t stand the chasing after boys plot, because it feels so… boring. I was going to say “contrived”, but the funny thing is that it’s done quite well. The writing is well done and funny (at times), and the characters seem to have some degree of personality instead of simply being sock puppets.

But you can write a story with as much grace as is physically possible, if the story itself isn’t done well then you are just going to get stuck with a stack of useless words.

If you don’t put much stock in the plot and stop at the point where there was a huge break in the archive (author went on hiatus for a looooong time), then it’s a decent read. Not the best in the world, but okay. I give No Pink Ponies a *hesitant* thumbs up, kind of like you would give a lettuce sandwich. It’s good, in a way, if you’re really into it, but in general there’s plenty of club sandwiches that you could be eating instead.

Menage a 3

Menage a 3

NSFW

By Giz

2008-2010

Updates fairly regularly

I had originally intended to review Menage a 3 during my Dirty Comics Week before I turned into a lazy/exam-ridden husk of a man, but alas I had to be delayed. Also, I’m a twat, so excuse the 5 days without a review. I’m busy.

As you literary folk might have guessed from the title, the comic title is a bastardization of the French phrase “Ménages à trois”, which basically means that three people are living in the same place together, with connotations of sex. MA3 (Does the “a” get in the acronym? Hell, why not) is a slice of life comic that follows the misadventures of Gary, a lonely virgin comic book nerd who finds out that his two male roommates are actually of the fruity variety and must find new ones after they move out. Lo and behold, the new characters are a mild-nymphomaniac Zii and the blonde waitress DiDi who is in the possession of a pair of knockers that would make a hentai artist shocked.

Actually, these legendary tits make up about have the story line, with either Zii or Gary trying to get a hold of them if you know what I mean. They all live in Canada (or as we call it in the States, “That state with all the polite people and moose”) so there are a few jokes in there, Gary’s a nerd who like comic books, etc. etc. etc. so on. It’s not exactly the most exciting plotline, but there are quite a few naked jubilies so if you dislike the story then you can flip through and look at the tits.

It’s actually really quite good, but I’ve realized that I’m a bloody critic, not a be-nice-and-rainbows person, which is why I’ve been having such trouble writing reviews of late. All the comics I read are good, unless I’ve specifically said so (*cought* Nicky510 *cough*), thus extolling their virtues is wasted. That’s mainly why most of my stuff sucks, I am a misanthropic cynic who apparently needs to make a blog (not emo I swears) and I tried being nice and now I think it has given me cancer. Advertising is for Project Wonderful, not Archive Crawl. So if I find time, I’ll be going back and “fixing” the recent, shitty reviews. And hell maybe I’ll break up the list of the next CIA assassination targets and hide them in the wayback ones for you to find.

Oh, right, the comic. It’s derivative, sometimes dragging, the plot rarely changes, and you should still go read it since I told you so, and Catalyst knows all.

Good day to you, sir!

Dreamless

Hell, why not, I’ve found some time in the pocket of my pants when I was doing laundry, so here is today’s review.

Dreamless

Sarah Ellerton and Bobby Crosby

2009-2010

Semi-regular

Normally I absolutely abhor romantic webcomics. They tend toward the idiotic, saccharine plot lines that make me want to kill orphaned kittens just to wash the taste out of my mind. However, I tolerated Dreamless enough to read through it, and while it did follow the expected  “OMG I WUB YOU” line, it wasn’t bad. Why? Because it actually threw a bit of a wrench in the works. You see, the main characters are an American woman and a Japanese man who have been tied together since birth. You see, when one of the two goes to sleep, s/he can see through the other’s eyes. They live their lives knowing that the other person is there, holding conversations, and eventually love blossoms. Yeah, I know, blah blah blah “I wuv to wuv” kind of crap. It’s not even done well crap, alas. But the whole “seeing through another’s eyes” is enough to read it for a bit, probably not to keep you coming back, however.

The art is pretty good, however. It’s done in a nice, brush-painted style, with fairly detailed characters and pretty good backdrops.

Like I said, it’s a bad comic that’s saved by a gimmicky plot point. You might not care enough to keep reading it, but if you like the mushy gushy stuff, then here you go.